6-22
She visits and yet says very little, I can’t even recall a voice
When what played and what’s seen, simply the girls and boys
What I hear curses and echo’s too deep inside my brain
As if stones were cast and hitting me, down that voice would rain
Over the shoulder eyes will appear, the bluest have I ever seen
But color evades when darkness comes, with a girl still in her teens
Mentioned once, then mentioned twice, the letter never to arrive
The cost too great to send, my plans, not chance, deliberately contrived
Is it harder to speak, maybe harder to think, maybe too hard to ignore?
The fall became summer, what the sun does to you, breathless for sure
If only to see but I can’t, though the senses they bring me no relief
You must have imagined life better, forgetting brings back your belief
Just like you with time passing shedding skin like a deceitful snake
You took legs and walked away, I can’t, for I’m drowning in my own lake
You said to me, “The first shall be last, and the last shall be first” wrote it I guess
With the marks of the purest hands man has seen, when did you put me to rest?
Twenty eyes can discern, ten tongues can say, or say little, but the truth is there
But instead of the lines to read, in the distance of time, that is where I stare
To look back, too distant, to look forward, too hard, I’ve tried it all in vain
Images of girl who whispers “come here” but left on the 9:00 o’clock train
I turned to a man who was there all along, while I looked at my broken piece
It wouldn’t get pass 9, just stayed at 12, these of mine too soon to cease
I sat straight up in a bed, wiping sleep from my eyes, wondering if it were true
No different from the hands that stuck at 12, these thoughts, well nothing new
Pick up the phone, write a note, somehow get the word to her past
Yet it’s not my past that needs to hear the words I cannot seem to cast
Numbers they change, addresses shift, I doubt you will ever hear
The words not wrote for your eyes to see, I’m sure I’m left alone to care
Once is plenty, twice is ok, the third time you gotta believe it’s overkill
Without it I can’t swim the ocean, can’t shoot for the moon, can’t crawl over a hill
The worst words I can write, the thoughts in my head, I wonder if you could read
Between the lines, 40 years is your time, you know it’s something I need
Those thoughts comes to a finish, suddenly, catching us all off guard
If that letter was written, the call was made, it wouldn’t have been that hard
The end would be different and closure would come, no prison I’d be in
I have one call to make, one voice can I hear, Russian roulette do I spin
In three I have the all words from within I can say to myself trying to understand
The three go unnoticed to that person who haunts me, my life it demand
When it’s all said, when all is level, when everything has been weighed in balance
I hope you forgive me, accept my excuses, her voice to be heard in silence
