Result

12-29-22
Remember when, looking at me, saying you’d be right back?
You touched my arm, kissed my hand, you had that knack
To fill a space, to fill a void, able to make time stand still
Yet everything I hoped for and cared about left unfulfilled 

I wonder why I see that vision, one so clear and so real
Yesterday might be gone, every event against my will
Numb is a feeling you hope to aspire to when all is there
Inside my mind and very being, I simply try not to care

The hand you kissed now reaches out to a place so secure
It’s home and a haven, protection, holding things that were
Its more than a feeling, as if it still exists and holds me tight
Yet why is it I live within a void, begging with all my might

What I had, became so perfect, it had no choice but to leave
Though I’m pretending not to dwell, it’s not really up to me
Calling out for help might seem like it’s the best thing to do 
My voice now gone for denying it’s all me, and none of it you

Summers grass is withered, gone like the sun it needed
Shadows grow longer, and dampness a blanket, mistreated
It’s quieter, and through empty branches I see far and wide
But I can never see what I’m looking for, I’m not really sure why 

Your touch escapes me, that feeling I’ve often tried to get back
Is hardly a memory, my mind is vacant, everything unpacked
Desire no longer appears when in the past it was always there
Now I sit alone, shaking, and to move, I wonder how and where

The chill is getting to me, I wonder if it’s the cold or my thoughts
The relief can come in many directions, my location it is lost
In a void, in a vacuum, what remains is nothing, nothing at all
For taking refuge and solace, a car hitting a brick wall
Sun in winter on a mild day can capture all of my attention 
It bathes me in warmth, still I shake and cry, I’d rather not mention 
What moves as I watch a creek bed, dried up, and silent
Are my eyes pretending to see nothing, nothing so violent 

What became of everyone, those held in high esteem 
Do you think it matters at all, was this all just a dream
It can’t be a dream or nightmare, they don’t return every night
But every waking minute, it all comes back, with everything in sight